Oplan Blue Kamikaze this Valentines
Single.
Most of us think that this word is cursed in nature. Others think they will stay single forever. Well, guilty here. As we enter the love month, all singles will unite to be bitter all the way.
I found myself staring at the DJ here at a certain bar in Cebu with other single friends other nights ago. I find him cute but that wasn’t the reason why I am staring. I was bothered when I ask the manager if he is single and the latter said yes, I envied him since he loved his job. He is single and he can make the dance floor crazy with his mixing skills. That’s when divine inspiration struck and urged me to write this.
I am a proud single since time immemorial. I didn’t even experience hook ups and have mutual understandings but I do have crushes and I think those don’t count. There was even a time when I was so devastated that I desperately looked for ‘homies’ that, I thank God, failed. I couldn’t imagine what would happen if it succeed. Don’t get me wrong as we, singles for life, really hate Valentine’s Day. Now, the meat of the story begins.
Just like what I’ve written earlier, I was devastated and frustrated why I am still single. Yes, I am a man biologically but sorry I do love boys too. Whether I like or not and I am not generalizing, love in the third sex is more like a contract with paychecks. Although some our ‘kabaro’ are happy and successful in their love life, others like me are still finding for Mr. Right Volunteer (which means can love voluntarily with no paychecks involved). Whenever I see a potential one, I befriended them but my confidence blocks me since when God threw all his blessings to people like being beautiful and/or handsome I decided to sleep and hide inside my room. Every time that happens, I get more frustrated and disappointed. That is why I really hate February 14 and I think I am not alone. (You can relate Liza Soberano’s line ‘Pangit ba ako? Kapalit palit ba ko?’ Pak Ganern!).
February 14 is the month full of flowers and chocolates and OA greetings. Yuck! Ew! Get a room! Walang forever! Maghihiwalay din kayo! Those words were always my response every time I see couples kissing in parks, hotels, parking lots, malls, cinemas, and everywhere for 21 years straight. Like duh! Can they get to the ‘s’ thing already? I was very bitter back then. I tend to push away everybody because of my bitterness. My friends always label me a ‘bitter hag’ or ‘peanut bitter’ or ‘Barney the bitter dinosaur’ which I accepted wholeheartedly because they were all correct. I already accepted my fate back then.
One night, I decided to watch a movie entitled ‘How to be single’ and there I realized that I was blinded by being bitter for 21 years. I didn’t even see God and my family who were always there for me when I am down. I didn’t enjoy my own salary because of unworthy friends. I didn’t even notice that our house needs restorations due large cracks during the last 2013 earthquake. I didn’t even enjoyed my life as a single person. I might sound OA but hey you can’t blame me. Haha!
A close friend told me that happiness is a choice and I am happily following it. Slowly but surely, I’ve attained happiness. I can now see a better perspective in my single state. I can focus and achieve my dreams. I can, maybe and I hope in God’s time, bring my family to tourist spots here in the country. I can now have serious plan of reducing my weight which is difficult to be consistent. I can now be happy to see couples around me. I can now hope that someday somebody would love me for who I am and for what I have. I’m in no rush because in God’s time it will come. The bitterness in me slowly fades away and I am happy with it.
P.S. Valentine’s Day will not always be my favorite time of the year but at least I am happy to celebrate it with my friends, family, and God. Also, the name of the DJ is Mr. Joachim Giacobbe and he is a good Bacardi DJ. Please hire him in your events.